Window to Openness

Openness is such a virtue, right? If you are someone who has worked/is working in the corporate, you would have often heard many extolling benefits of this important value in the work context. I would also expect that as a ‘realised’ corporate professional, you would have also mastered an understanding of openness through Johari Window through some training program or the other.

I personally am a great fan of this concept on building interpersonal relationships. In my limited experience of working with learned people, when asked about this concept, the majority admits of its awareness, but when nudged to share its applicability in real-life situations, I often find most getting caught in the revolving doors of the four quadrants of this Window. “Hey, which one is which? And on which side of the box do I place ‘I’ …”

(For the benefit of those who might have recalled having heard of Johari Window and have forgotten about it, or those whose curiosity has been aroused and they would like to discover this beautiful concept in building relationships, you may google it or explore the link. However, Johari Window not being the thought on top of my mind at the moment, I would rather come back to openness).

So how does one define openness?

“Being forthright, transparent, candid. Saying what you wish to say. Being courageous to put forth one’s point of view. Speaking one’s mind”, etc, etc, etc.

Guess what, all of the above interpretations of openness are absolutely valid in the literal sense. But then, the question that pops up in my mind when someone talks of being open are, “Be open to doing/achieve what?”

“To help others know you better. Maybe others will understand you more deeply if you are open. Isn’t it so important to let others around you know how you are made from inside if they were to trust you? You know, it helps build great relationships?” Responses on these lines are what one is likely to get when asked the above question.

That is the moment when I wonder, “How would it help my relationships if I were to go out tomorrow pointing to the world this nasty oozing smelly fat boil under my armpit? Or telling my friends I sometimes recycle my underwear when I don’t find a clean one at hand?” (Beware; I have been accused of being a master at exaggeration and for not being truthful all the time)!

If the intention is to build trust and relationships, then the openness has to have a certain quality. That quality is about disclosing one’s strengths without grandiloquence or pretentious, sharing, to be authentic and not superior, speaking of one’s vulnerabilities without intending to be manipulative, saying plainly what needs to be said without attaching ulterior motives. It is about stating hard facts rather than airing assumptions. It is more about innocent revealing, not as much exposing.

I rather be ‘not open’ about things that cause intended offense, or are maleficent by design. I recall working under someone who was so open that he would slay people with his candid opinions on them in open forums without giving a damn. I found him quite clamped when one day I decided to share my feedback on him.

To me, true openness is like opening a window to your heart through which you observe what is outside while you also create an opening to let others peep in. Any attempt to disclose which is devoid of sincerity, authenticity, or genuine intent to simply share could be pseudo-openness. Openness deployed on malicious purpose, while being a manifestation of extreme insensitivity, could well be used as a powerful tool to massage the ego, settle scores, put others down, or even exploit.

Putting these thoughts down was easy, even fun. It’s time for me to now deal with the harder part. How do I often use my value of openness in my own life context…..??